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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
wicked_bladez's LiveJournal:
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| Wednesday, October 8th, 2008 | | 2:13 am |
Untitled
It's been a while since I hit this thing. A freaking long while. No idea where to begin. Why I'm updating, maybe? Well, I just posted a massive, confused post on /x/ but lost it because I went over the character limit and didn't copy it. I'm pretty sure I did this on purpose, I just wanted to manage my thoughts I think. Either way, got me thinking maybe I should just post here. I guess I'll begin by repeating what I can remember of that, then fill in the blanks between that and my last entry. --------- To simplify things, let's just say I was never really into the paranormal. Despite the fact that all the people I associated with were, practically walking libraries of myths, practices and beliefs that entire societies revolved around. I've eaten fruit at the wiccan/pagan/whatever solstice thing my family and friends do, I've sat and listened intently when told my spirit-guardian is a unicorn and nightmare in constant battle, I've watched a friend move pens with his mind and read colours by touch when blindfolded... But none of it ever really felt like it hit me. I participated and tried my best to believe, but it never really felt like it sank in. I've tried to keep an open mind but remain logical at the same time. If something could be explained scientifically, that's great, but if it isn't then it just makes life a little more interesting. The wierdest part about all of this, a fact that makes it confusing that I don't really believe so firmly in it all is that I see it every day. I dream of someone's death only to recieve a call when I wake, I absent-mindedly recount a dream when someone gasps in shock, I see fleeting shadows of things that have been... I swear that sometimes I can see through the air around me. Sometimes I can feel the very heartbeat of the universe, a pulse that animates everything in a steady pattern- no, rhythm... a perfect orchestra of light and sound and matter. Mostly it comes to me when I have what they tell me is a 'panic attack.' The entire world erupts around me, colours burn intensly, everything moves in short bursts following a perfect and predictable pattern, sounds become a visual and energetic thing making my entire world dance and pulse to the sound of someone's voice. Even now, I sit at 2 am with all the lights on because I could feel something moving in the hallway, to and from a room that a few people claim hosts a sinister presence. I could feel the heat of the Ouija board against my back as I lay, a board that some of my more scientific friends refuse to even touch. Am I insane? They tell me I'm schiz. They tell me I'm DID. They tell me I'm suffering a chemical inbalance in my brain due to the shopping list of maladies I suffer. But sometimes, just sometimes... it all seems a little too deep. A little too real. Sometimes I swear I can see through existance itself and glimpse something far greater than I can even play at understanding. --------- Now to close the gap, hopefully explaining what the hell I'm on about. I've couch-surfed for a fair while after leaving my mother's, suffered trials and hardship that forced me into a state of adulthood that I never wanted to reach. A place where everything seems childish and insignificant, a place where I look at the hole world as a finite, tiny, mortal. I'm dying, slowly and painfully. My lungs are falling to bits, my liver is pretty much dead, I've recently discovered my brain is wired wrong due to brain trauma during my birth, I'm allergic to almost everything on the goddamn planet, my asthma is terrible and my immune system is nonexistant. I've been told not to make plans for my 40th birthday. I spend alot of time reflecting on the pettiness of the world and its order. On the fact that I am a miniscule creature with but a hearbeat of a lifespan on a tiny rock floating around a tiny explosion trapped in its own gravity among billions of billions of others that make up one of god-knows-how-many other galaxies. How little anything I can accomplish really is - even fame for millions of years among the human race is really nothing. How even curing cancer and saving an unbelievable amount of lives would only delay an inevitable death for so many. But this is only one fragment of who I am today. I've spoken about Sam, Alex, James and Mike before, many a time. Heck every other entry on this site fit under one of those names, or an alias for them. But... I don't think of us as seperate any more, at least not really. It isn't as though I AM MICHEAL AND I AM DRIVING THIS THING OH SAM SAYS HI AND THAT SHE'S THINKING OF YOU, like I used to percieve it. More that... we are all parts of the whole. We a singular being with four different modes, four different mindsets. They're more personalities than identities. Sure, sometimes I can hear them yammering in my head or distinctly fight off something Alex demands, but... now it seems more like I'm just sorting thoughts in my head. They're all my thoughts, they just have different voices, different emotions attached. Different angles of looking at things... different perspectives... Ah, I've gone and derailed myself. I've typed out my piece, at least for today. Ja~ne. Current Mood:  contemplativeCurrent Music: The World | | Friday, October 27th, 2006 | | 5:32 pm |
Samael ~ Sit down.
Okay, so. I tried to commit suicide a while back. Things have turned out for the best, though. I've realised just how much I mean to everyone. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve it and they're all stupid dicks, but whatever. Currently on zuclothenpixol, an anti-schizo injection. One of the closest people to me in existance died and came back last night. They disappeared with a gun three days ago (we were only informed last night), then came back on and said they were okay. The worst and best thing in my life happened within 6 hours of each other. She means more to me than I have ever let anyone know. Jealousy is eating me, because one of my other loved ones is dating her. And I resist the urge every day to gouge out his chest cavity and paint "I love you, Ashley" on the wall. I guess I haven't got over her. Even though it ended mutually (not that we had a choice after I raped her), today I want it back. I want her. I NEED HER. But I can't, and WON'T. I'll just hurt her again, and I know its no use trying. Its selfish to even think about it. Why should I get something that beautiful? --- Oh, and the Samael thing. Samael is Mike. Yes, the same Samael I wrote about a while back. You'd have to be extremely spiritual to get the next few bits. Samael was born of sadness. Her mother died of disappointment, and she committed suicide when she was nine. I have a picture I drew of her when in a trance, it's rather pretty. She has gossamer wings, is naked, and covering herself. Chains are being broken around her wings, because I've freed her. I've found her name, and now I can commune with her. Which isn't great all the time, because she weeps alot and makes me depressive. The other one I've successfully woken was Alexander, who I believe is Phoenix. He has burn wounds up his arms and down his back, which hurt when I get angry or passionate about something. See, Alexander is my fire. He is my warmth, my passion, my anger. His picture's a little odd, let's try and explain it. I'll scan these in soon, but for now... He's a cat, with burns up the outside of his forelegs, joining between his shoulders and running down his spine. Instead of a feline head, it's human, and has a single eye with no other features. He's crying. His tail is flame, and fire erupts from his paws. The ground cracks open and reveals magma when he steps. He suffered the burn wounds protecting his family. He died in a fierce battle, and as he was dying, his blood and rage blinded him, and he killed his wife. He's the reason I can't feel comfortable in relationships. He's afraid of hurting again. --- Anyway, thanks for listening. I'm drugged up, I have friends, and I'm moving out of home soon, where my psychiatrists say most of my problems begin. Current Mood:  OverwhelmedCurrent Music: Slipknot - Vermillion Pt 2 | | Wednesday, October 11th, 2006 | | 6:40 pm |
Mike ~ Failed Suicide
Apparently people read this, so maybe I should explain. That last entry was posted one hour before I attempted suicide. I failed, as you can see. I overdosed myself and walked around rockhampton, just waiting to die. But I had a bit of an epiphany, and walked to the hospital. I decided if I made it there without the drugs killing me, jumping off the bridge or walking in front of a car, then I really wanted to live. Well, looky here. I've got alot to talk about, but no time right now. Expect more later. | | Friday, October 6th, 2006 | | 1:02 am |
Murder is nothing I have the HATE I want to dismember destryo I want... die... I'm drunk and my sister is crying and hurling things around and my empathy is kicking me in the fucking teeth and the rage building up inside i s needs to be put sometwhere where it isn't in me Sepelling doesn';t bother me right now, I'm ignoring the backspace key. If you're sensitive and don't like gore and HATREEWD then leave now. The death of all will bring me the happiness I have always dreamed of... Drteams are... I never dream happy. The happiest dreams I have end with my death, the rest are far more painful and last forever and I feel the pain of a fall from fifty rhousand feet and I scream in pain and rage and feel every drop of emotion on the planet at once And let me tell you, the anger far outweighs the happiness and love I wanted I wan I want to die Please, own't someone release from the gorty, painful iron maiden I canll my body Nothing every good happens in this place of agaony and angst and sadness and RAGE I want dismember Evisceration Clavicles removed from living innocents I want to rend a babies heart out in front of its family but keep it living then force it to watch me rape and destroy and remove its family from existance. Then I want it to grow in a world of pain and hate and kill everything hit loves Then when it becomes and adult of despair oand pure loathing I want to put myself inside it and destroy tyhe conciousness and live in nothing but hatred and loss It would be better than Iwhat I live in at the moment These things that come to me, these urges and actions aren't I'm not worthy I've never experienced anything that would make me want to do these things but with the empathy, my curse, I feel the pain of everythone arpound me Ashley makes me extremely RAGE and want to destroy the raearth slowly and burn and then do it again, making sure everyu living soul lives therough the destruction of it ever over and ovr and over and over and over and over ando ever And then, when all that pain has been dealth the rage inside me may subside to a dull anger I don't understand why I want these things, I deserve nothing less than the absoulute destruction of eveyrthing that is inside me, including my love and kindness and hapiness and jhoy and bring abioyut KILL ME PLEASE FUCKING KILL ME Oh god I want to die Nothing in a million liftetimes of hatred could compare to the absoilute loathing of twhat I want to do to everytone and everything and everywhere I wish I coukld be Nothing will ever satisfyt the FUCK< FUCK FUCK KILL ME Fck this I need to go plasce and place ...please... | | Thursday, August 24th, 2006 | | 3:50 am |
Mike ~ Fat Loser
Ergh. I feel alone. Yeah, I've said it hundreds of times, but its bothering me. Even after sleeping with Kat, I still felt alone. It was just a physical thing, she was horny, I was lonely. I gave her what she needed, and asked for some company in return. Huh. Fat chance. She fell asleep. When she woke, she said she had work, and would call me. Story of my life ._. Anyway, went into centrelink today. No longer a student, now a jobseeker. I'm kinda dreading a job, but I need the money. Bleh. From the time the lady said "Michael Cameron, we can see you now," to the moment I walked out the door, one hour had passed. Fricking hell. What else... I dunno. Its 4 am, I'm back to my old habits. Staying up late, eating heaps, no exercise. Damnit. Argh, I forgot to go to the gym today, I promised mum. I'll go tomorrow, after my jobseeker appointment. I'd better get to bed for that. I have alot more to say, but few people read what I have as it is, so I won't bore you all to death. G'night then, those of you who watch my life from afar. Current Mood: IncompleteCurrent Music: The Knife - We Share Our Mother's Health | | Friday, August 4th, 2006 | | 6:01 pm |
Minime ~ DO THIS NOW.
1. Age: 2. Single or Taken: 3. Favorite Movie: 4. Favorite Song: 5. Favorite Band/Rapper/Artist: 6. Dirty or Clean: 7. Tattoos and/or Piercings: HERE COMES THE FUN ... ... ... 1. Do we know each other outside of Livejournal? 2. What's your philosophy on life? 3. Would you have my back in a fight? 4. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest? 5. What is your favorite memory of us? 6. Would you give me a kidney? 7. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you: 8. Would you take care of me when I'm sick? 9. Can we get together and make a cake? 10. Have you heard any rumors of me lately? 11. Do you/have you talk(ed) crap about me? 12. Do you think I'm a good person? 13. Would you drive across country with me? 14. Do you think I'm attractive? 15. If you could change anything about me, would you? 16. What do you wear to sleep? 17. Would you come over for no reason just to hang out? 18. Would you go on a date with me if I asked you? 19. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together? 20. Will you post this so I can fill it out for you? ========= Also, I believe I have some parts I shouldn't have. Must investigate. Going to the doctor's soon. Current Mood:  BOOM. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM.Current Music: System of a Down - Boom | | 5:08 pm |
Mike ~ Living a fairy-tale
Bleh, creativeness took me by storm. ======= (Upbeat metal music) (Violin starts playing) ALWAYS WANTING WHAT YOU CAN'T HAVE UNGRATEFUL LITTLE SHIT YOU ARE NOTHING SOWED, NOTHING REAPED GREED IS YOUR SIN BY FAR How many days will you sit around Living off others like a fucking parasite But you do it all for those you love You're not good enough, nothing's right You watch the other parents, look at them, living a fable Way too much food to eat, their butler setting the table Their daughter's out riding, bringing the horse to the stable They have everything they want, look at them, living a fable NOTHING IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU NO-THING BRINGS YOU GLEEEE ALL THE OTHER KIDS HAVE BIKES THE PARENTS HAVE DVDS You can't believe how cruel life is Why does nothing turn out right for you? You're such a screw-up, unloved Unforgiven because you fuck up everything you do! You watch the other parents, look at them, living a fable Way too much food to eat, their butler setting the table Their daughter's out riding, bringing the horse to the stable They have everything they want, look at them, LIVING A LIIEEEE! (* = whispered) *I *Got *Nothing *But *Deserve *Everything "I just want what's right for my kids!" "Why can't anything go right?" "I swear, its not my fault!" "I can't believe I just did that..." "I need things too!" "Its just-" NOT FAIR! Think about everything you have, maybe its not such a fable You've got enough food to eat, your kids are setting the table Open your wallet to pay the bills, you've got enough, you're able You have everything you need, you know you're living a fable! (Metal quickens, orchestra joins in) (Metal fades, orchestra climbs) (Orchestra fades out, leaving the violin playing a sad tune) (Violin stops abruptly) ======= Current Mood:  CreativeCurrent Music: The Verve - Bittersweet Symphony | | Sunday, July 23rd, 2006 | | 8:54 pm |
Minime ~ No I am not a bitch
I wrote a poem. I forgot it ten minutes after I performed it. Never wrote it down, unfortunately. Meh. NOW. FILL THIS OUT. ----------- Name: Age: Phone Number: Location: Height: Hair (color and style): Eyes: Piercings/tattoos: What Do You Think Of My? Personality: Eyes: Face: Hair: Clothes: Humor: Choice of music: Manners: Friends: Decisions: W0ULD Y0U... [] go out with me? [] give me your number? [] kiss me? [] let me kiss you? [] watch a movie with me? [] take me out to dinner? [] drive me somewhere [] make love to me? [] take a shower with me? [] be my bf/gf? [] hug me? [] buy me food? [] take me home to meet your family? [] would you let me sleep in your bed if i didn't have one? [] sing car karaoke w/ me? [] sit in the doctors office with me because I didn't want to go alone? [] re-post this for me to answer your questions? [] give me a piggyback ride? [] come pick me up at 3 am because my car ran out of gas in the middle of nowhere D0 Y0U... [] think im cute? [] want to do me? [] want to kiss me? [] want to cuddle wit me? [] want to hook up with me? AM i... [] smart? [] cute? [] funny? [] cool? [] intersting to talk to? HAVE Y0U EVER... [] thought about me? [] thought there might be an "US"? [] thought about hookin up with me? [] found yourself wanting to kiss me? [] wished i were there? ----------- Current Mood: I WAS CRAWLING, ALWAYS FALLINGCurrent Music: Static X - I'm the one | | Monday, July 3rd, 2006 | | 6:57 pm |
Things fell apart recently. I panicked after I missed a few pills and some things were smashed, a street-sign was torn out, someone lost a drainpipe... An ambulance was called, the police showed up... Big dramas. But it turned out okay. In other news, I wrote a song that helps me get these feelings out. Inside OutLet me.. Let me have you, hold you close Bring you warmth, blessed love I want you to open your arms... SO I CAN RIP YOUR HEART OUT! Let me rend your eyes from their socket I'll keep them safe in my pocket I'll tear your innards, while you shout I WANT YOU- -Inside out! I'll sleep in your entrails Hold your liver to my heart Keep me safe in my rest Safe from you... SAFE FROM YOUR GAMES AND HATE! Let me rend your eyes from their socket I'll keep them safe in my pocket I'll tear your innards, while you shout I WANT YOU- -Inside out! Inside out! Inside out! Yeaaah! BITCH! I love you! I HATE YOU! Darling WHORE! I can't live- -WITHOUT YOU- I'd be nothing. Everything. Rich and famous. Bitch. REND YOUR EYES FROM THEIR SOCKETS! I'LL STORE THEM SAFE IN MY POCKETS! DISEMBOWEL EVERYTHING I LOVE! INSIDE OOOUUUT! Current Mood:  EdgyCurrent Music: Nothingface - Bleed out | | Tuesday, June 27th, 2006 | | 2:42 am |
Mike ~ Creep
This is a formal apology to everyone I've been sleasy to over the last month or so. I'm getting really angsty and lonely, and am resorting to kinda being a creep. I'm not really as promiscuous as I seem =] In other news, I'm at Shani's. Got the week to do whatever I want, really. Mum and the family are down in brizzy for the week. Not that I'm doing anything I wouldn't normally do, but meh. Well, my back aches, so I'll probably go to bed after this. Or maybe go play Lightside // Legend. My WoW credit expired D= Current Mood: Ouch...Current Music: A Perfect Circle - Judith | | Wednesday, May 3rd, 2006 | | 9:54 pm |
Minime ~ TrustFlow results for ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) wicked_bladez
I tried out TrustFlow II for LiveJournal. The following people not on the friends list for wicked_bladez are close by:
- the_lost_deity, regretfulsinner, baka_calintz, crystal_mercury, mip_the_happy (0 - 50)
- creationsist, superhunk41, friendsaregreat, roytheswordguy, squeegiefawn, pumpkinblossom, hybrid_psycho67, letsmakea_scene, cheap___perfume, remedyforruin, fevlo, natsuhoshi, tari_maartje, vilijntje (50 - 100)
- gugga, galon, earinonno, me0www, solitary_luus, mary_jane89, lifeisdivine, corinachristine, nobleryan, tweetybld, iharthdarth, koenbp, rouxm_device, floorcanada, sashide, erunion, dashboard__, nanobot_, sheseesbeauty, globalcommunion, natureoftragedy (100 - 150)
( More results below the cut... )
Created by ciphergoth; hosted by LShift.
TrustFlow II: Who is closest to your friends
list?
Woo. Current Mood:  o.oCurrent Music: Tool - Vicarious | | Monday, May 1st, 2006 | | 9:38 pm |
Phoenix ~ *chews on cookie*
I've been sick. My back fucking hurts. My bike is dead, so I can't ride anywhere, let alone the gym. My toe is growing this disgusting fungus thing, even though I've been bathing every day. My teeth are rotting, my face is turning into pizza, and I have a headache. Through all this, my mother gets up me when I skip a week or two of school. ...I'm going to Michaels. Grah. One more thing. Take your fingers. Swing your arms around. Build up some steam. Then, jam them in your eyes as hard as you can. Thanks. Current Mood: >=[Current Music: Avenged Sevenfold - Darkness Surrounding | | Thursday, April 20th, 2006 | | 3:29 pm |
| | 3:01 pm |
Mike ~ Tarot cards 'n shit
Now, let's see... What have I been up to since my last update? Hmm... I've been going to college, doing D&D with some mates (a couple of who only recently started talking again), partying over the easter break, flipping out (almost breaking my hand for a third time in the process x_x) and just plain hanging out. Borrowing Mitchell's PS2, playing Dynasty Warriors 5: Xtreme Legends at the moment. Kickass game, even better since I have the DW5 disk on hand. <3 Other than that... I've just been pining for a girl. Been alone for a while now, and it isn't just the sexual side of me that's aching. There's a couple of girls I'd like to know, but unless we're seperated by at least 10 ks and the internet, I'm as shy as they come. From KWs journal:  Positive: The Hierophant represents the Holy Spirit and connection with Life at a spiritual level. The Hierophant finds comfort and worth with the spiritual side of life rather then the physical. He represents someone who is spiritual or philosophical in nature and one in search of higher truths. The Hierophant also represents tradition in that he finds comfort and value in the new by relating it to the old tried and true ways of life. He feels that connecting with the Creator is the most effective form of action and advises prayer above other means of communication. The Hierophant depicts someone who is able to see through the superficial and get straight to the heart of the matter. The Hierophant is spiritual by nature and he shies away from religious dogma. Negative:When reversed this card represents superficiality and a lack of moral or spiritual truths. A militaristic or dogmatic attitude, and a reliance on religious law rather then spiritual truths. A person who is rough, rigid, and only sees one path as being the only correct answer.  Positive: The Lovers card represents having to make a choice in the realm of relationships, a choice which will have a lasting impact on the relationship at hand. This may come as a proposal of marriage or simply the choice to continue or dissolve a relationship. The Lovers brings a reminder that should one not take control of their choices, one will be forced upon them by the wheel of destiny. The Lovers also represents sacrifice and that which is given up when a decision is finally made. Should one choose marriage and commitment, the freedom and playfulness of a single lifestyle is to be given up. Should one remain a bachelor then the security of a married lifestyle may have to be let go. Overall, what the Lovers card represents is that a choice is at hand and one that must be made with much care and consideration for there are always sacrifices to every decision. Negative:When reversed this card represents thoughtlessness in handling ones relationships with others and a lack of care when making crucial decisions regarding loved ones. Being indecisive and leaving your freedom of choice up to chance.  Positive: The Moon represents the ever-changing moods and cycles of life. The Moon is closely related to the feminine aspect as well as the tides of the ocean. What one tide brings in may have little impact on us, while another may bring significant change and enlightenment. The moon works strongly with inner intuition which has a subtle influence on our everyday lives. The Moon always has an affect on life as many lives are attuned directly to the cycles that the moon presents. Farmers planting rituals are attuned to the moon, women’s menstrual cycles are also attuned to a monthly timeline like that of the moon, and the tides are largely affected on a cyclic nature. While the Moon is subtle and inconsistent, it has one constant and that is of cycles. The Moon reinforces that life refreshes and rejuvenates through the use of cycles and the more we attune to nature the more prosperous we can become. Negative:In a reversed position this card represents direct and analytic thinking. Ones vulnerabilities are outward and apparent and need to be concealed more heavily. Disrupted cycles or a possible pregnancy. Current Mood: Doo dee doo... ;-;Current Music: Rob Zombie - Demon Speeding | | Tuesday, April 4th, 2006 | | 12:55 pm |
Minime ~ A couple of memes
First, a meme from Kay-Doubleyoo's LJ | Guilt | What is yours? | Explain yourself | | Culinary: | Pasta & Pastry |
I'm allergic to it, but... It so delicious. I love italian foods. Meaty, tasty, so much sauce... |
| Literary: | Animorphs | ...xD I was young! YOU CAN'T BLAME MEEE!!~ | | Audiovisual: | The Butterfly Effect | I cried >.>;; |
| Musical: | Bob Marley | What? Sometimes reggae makes me feel happy Dx |
| Celebrity: | Spike Spencer (Or is it Mike?) | Voice of Shinji Ikari and Maki from NGE and BGC2040. He sounds so cute ^o^ |
Now I tag:-
tehmagnus desecration_ kuruchan noscream_bone and ravemanvincent
to complete this same Quiz, Its HERE.
Secondly, a hell-building Meme from Chen's journal.
People who take evasion so I can't kill them with big explosions >:(
Circle I Limbo ALLIANCE FAGS
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind Alliance fags who are gonna come to horde for blood elves D:
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow Emos who think they're goth
Circle IV Rolling Weights Mainstream music fans
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled River Styx Virgins who aren't really virgins >.>
Circle VI Buried for Eternity River Phlegyas People who don't share their vodka
Circle VII Burning Sands Apple/Mac users
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement Wiggers
Circle IX Frozen in Ice Design your own hell
Current Mood: Doo-dee-doo!!~
Current Music: Megadeath - Die Dead Enough | | Tuesday, March 28th, 2006 | | 12:24 pm |
James ~ It's all Sanne's fault
...she finally added me and posted on my LJ, so I feel obligated to update this thing again. Hmm... Let's see. I'm no longer depressed, just a little moody. I went to Liam's goth-themed birthday party, it rocked. Photos soon. Except, Andrew has the coat I was wearing when we were taking photos Dx Adult Tertiary Prep at TAFE, or college for you foreigners. Erm... Single it seems, for now. Working on fixing it :D Playing WoW occasionally, but only on the PC for two hours a day. Gym course, 4 times a week. Not much else to report. I do have one photo of me goth'd up.  Current Mood: Working hard... Yeah, rightCurrent Music: Disturbed - Avarice | | Sunday, November 13th, 2005 | | 7:42 pm |
Phoenix ~ ...I've been thinking.
Me and Rhiannon were drinking last night. We went downstairs and talked for two or three hours. I realised how broken our family is, and how much everyone means to me. I'd just like to say one thing to everyone who takes their parents for granted: Fuck you. I've never worked on a car with my dad. My mum never took an interest in my schoolwork. I never flew a kite with my parents, the first time I did was with my Aunt. I've never felt loved by my dad. My mother spent years ignoring me. My father was never there. I could never say I hated my father and not mean it. I could never feel smothered by my mother. The closest thing I had to parents for so long were my grandparents, who were strict and cruel. It ruined me and my sister's lives. So here's a big fuck you to all you normal people. Even people with stepdads or stepmums. At least you have something. I'm gonna go watch a movie with my sister and hug my mother, who only became a part of my life when we moved to rockhampton. Current Mood: ContentCurrent Music: Slipknot - Three Nil | | Tuesday, November 8th, 2005 | | 12:35 am |
Mike ~ Memes and junk
--- 1. Your Full Name: 2. Age: 3. Favorite Color: 4. Favorite Movie: 5. Favorite Song: 6. Favorite Band: 7. Most Embarassing Moment: 8. Are you a virgin? HERE COMES THE FUN ... ... ... 1. Are we friends? 2. Do you have a crush on me/are you attracted to me? 3. Would you kiss me? 4. ...with tongue? 5. Would you enjoy it? 6. Would you ever ask me out or go out with me if I asked you? 7. Would you make a move on me in a movie theater? 8. Tell me one odd/intresting fact about you: 9. Would you take care of me when I'm sick? 10. Do you want to tell me something that you couldn't before? 11. If you heard a rumor about me, would you defend me? 12. Do you/have you talk(ed) crap about me? 13. Do you think I'm a good person? 14. Would you let me sleep with you (in the same bed)? 15. Do you think I'm hot? 16. Would you call me just because? 17. Would you ever listen to my problems even if they don't involve you? 18. If you could change anything about me, would you? 19. Would you have sex with me? 20. Would you come over for no reason just to hang out? 21. Will you post this so I can fill it out for you? --- Yeah. Just for the hell of it. Off to ride my bike now, at midnight. Seeyas. Current Mood:  Yar.Current Music: Dislocated Styles - Liquefied | | 12:08 am |
Mike ~ Freak
I posted this on Mercury. It tells you who I am, as a person. Enjoy. --- I'm 16 years old. I spend 40% of my life on the computer, and most of the rest sleeping. I'm six feet tall and over two-hundred pounds. The only porn I only watch is hentai. I like most foods, but in particular; pasta, ice cream, tandoori chicken and kebabs (the wrap ones). I listen to any kind of metal/rock, mostly heavy, death or alternative. My style changes with my moods, as do most of my tastes. I name each mood; Minime - Eccentric/Hypo, Myke - Sad/Compassionate, Phoenix - Defensive/Cold and... James. James is special =] I like to hurt myself. Yep. I love attention. Yep. And will usually do anything to get it. Unless I'm in a Phoenix mood, then I just want to be left alone. If that's the case, I'll do anything to be left alone, including hurting people. I pick my nose and tear off my nails. I also burp and fart whenever I feel the need to, unless I REALLY like the company. I snore and talk in my sleep. I flirt with girls (and guys, for that matter) and give them love and attention so that they'll give me attention back, but never want anything serious. The problem is, anyone who gets close to me wants more and more until I can't put up with it any more, and force them away from me. I stab people. No, I'm fucking serious. I've done it three times now. Here's the hum-dinger. I've raped someone once. No foolin'. --- Current Mood: ._.Current Music: Mike Shinoda - Petrified | | Saturday, October 29th, 2005 | | 11:41 pm |
Minime ~ Trick or treat!
I saw this on k00r00's LJ, and couldn't resist. | My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul |
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| wicked_bladez goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as a zombie. | | diety_of_sorrow gives you 16 dark blue mint-flavoured gummy bats. | | dreamy_mir gives you 5 milky white cinnamon-flavoured pieces of bubblegum. | | kuruchan gives you 18 brown orange-flavoured gummy bats. | | ravemanvincent gives you 17 milky white cherry-flavoured wafers. | | snav_ gives you 13 brown tropical-flavoured gummy bats. | | tehmagnus gives you 17 light yellow banana-flavoured jawbreakers. | | wicked_bladez ends up with 86 pieces of candy. | | Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern. |
Current Mood: =DCurrent Music: Slipknot - Feel no shame |
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